Disneyland

the opposite of knowledge is not ignorance but deceit and fraud

i’d said (from nurturing to independence) but why shld we leave nurturing behind · i think abt wittig’s lovers’ dictionary · a nurturing society of lovers · and why independent why not the radical reciprocity of le corps lesbien

then what is a coming of age · why shld social enfranchisement come at a price · why aren’t we born enfranchised · or are we born enfranchised then become disenfranchised · an age before which an age beyond which prohibitions entangled around this fulcrum · let’s start w what is unequivocal

the nonconsensual surgery on my lil inter body was child sexual abuse performed in the interest of patriarchy · that’s what makes it permissible to this society and what makes trans ppl existing near children impermissible · children are being groomed for a life of abuse at the hands of the patriarchy so that showing them disproof of the just-so stories with which they are groomed ist verboten

policing the frontier of childhood like any boundary at the fractured locus of the colonial difference power as power over not power to and the measure of one’s wealth a question of what others don’t have then nation states questions of sovereignty not of autonomy for humans but for structures of power measured in the capacity to abuse flesh the somatic resources at ur command an army of criminals conscripts and mercenaries it’s only meat if yu put a price on it lamb beef pork four legs bad an essentialism a theory of natural kinds a teleology purpose without purposer all the better to appropriate yu with · what’s a womb for · fingers for triggers it’s a boy

power operates thru the exchange of codes biocodes images power over the image power to constitute a sign as an image as simulacrum so that its circulation is the circulation of power a picture of a dead president on a piece of paper the image of a woman smiling with a knife in her cunt the power to disseminate the images by which we construct our world the owners of the means of production own the means of intellectual production

katharsis und agitation

illusion is no longer possible because the real is no longer possible

open letters to transphobes are only inflation in a currency of lies they’re not mistaken they’re perfectly clear in their deceit they know exactly why their claims are false because their quest is not for truth but power · this is why the arguments haven’t changed in decades despite decades of thoroughgoing and unreplied refutation so that it becomes charitable to call them arguments at all and not empty rhetoric

diana didn’t get to be a queen but she got to be a king being any gender is a drag in the unbroken circulation of the simulacrum (biological sex) a mcguffin there’s nothing real underneath only image and the transactional exchange of image gender precedes sex without a prior notion of gender we couldn’t make sexed distinctions in the first place turtles all the way down which itself an image and nothing under it but more turtles idealism then and the grain of truth in solipsism esse est percipi because our world is made of images traded agglomerated more or less controlled in that the illusion of control is control a private language is impossible as a private currency is impossible it’s the exchange rate that makes it a token then the transactional relations that make an image an image without which it’s only a thing an object something real

river pollution transing ur gender conspiracy theories flowing from the fringe to the mainstream the trans agenda qanon trump the return of fascism returns to capital in the currency of the simulacrum simulacrumbs microaggressions are microtransactions in a currency of images

simulacrumbs

who defends the queer child

adults shouldn’t exploit or abuse children or other adults · the harder yu try to pin it down the harder it is to say what matters in the coming of age boundary · adults shouldn’t give kids drugs or fuck them but adults shouldn’t fuck adults nonconsensually either adults shouldn’t give drugs to other adults who’ll be harmed by it addicts with a child’s impulse control or ppl with a physiological preponderance to be damaged by it like a child’s still developing physiology

prohibitions on fucking children needn’t be premised on anything beyond consent given that informed consent meaningfully requires a certain developmental level but then rape would be impermissible and patriarchy is premised on rape

the prohibitions on child sexuality in our culture are driven less by concern for children than desire to groom them for sexual exploitation in service to patriarchy

that’s not to say there should be no such prohibitions but that all rape is objectionable qua rape that such prohibitions should extend to all rape and that grooming children for a life of subjection to (familiar exploitation) is itself rape

the child as simulacrum

queer woman queer woman queer babies

think of the children the white children the cis children the straight children not the disabled children but the idealised children the tokenised child all exchange value and no bread underneath the child with a womb to fill or the balls to fill one boys have a penis girls have a vagina the sexed child the territorialised child the allo child the endo child the model child minted from the needs of patriarchy the invention of women of kyriarchy and the invention of race

there’s a human underneath all of this political exchange like there’s gold under the king’s nose but its worth is in the power it commands as image as token the power to enforce consensus to mediate all relations all human activity to regulate we pass this image of the child back and forth constructing frameworks of power at the expense of the human underneath mined as raw material for the production of sex · the kyriarchy cares for ur children like a butcher for meat

the dope smokes pope

doubt can exist only where a question exists

i wish i was dead · when i wish i were dead i’m generally ok bc i still have a command of grammar

there’s someone i liked who can barely conceal their contempt · we went from hugs to unvarnished hostility in a month or two · i don’t know what i did if anything so i don’t know whether to be ashamed or angry · i know how much my own internalised transphobia inflects my judgement so the worry is there ofc not that someone might suddenly turn transphobic but that in the currency of the simulacrum groomer tropes and predator myths have a certain (purchase)

and then maybe i did do sth · this is one of the things the exchange rate in transphobia deprives me of · i can’t know and i daren’t ask so i can’t fix it · i can’t have normal relations with anyone else even other trans ppl so that the most ordinary human interactions become fraught with anxiety and depression and i’m so fucking exhausted sat here crying that i want to die bc i can’t see any other way to just make it stop

burning witches burning effigies burning frociaggine smoke and simulacra symbolic smoke not without fire burning books as propaganda hence a form of publishing a distribution of smoke of signals the image itself endlessly recirculated burning a million quid black smoke white smoke either or pink smoke a time or two he didn’t like it he didn’t inhale it and he never tried it again are yu gay if it was just the once are yu damned a conspiracy of inhalations did yu take it in a whisper in ur lungs words signs transferred through the breath of speech infected like covid with ideas transing ur gender a pride flag to turn yu gay then a burning to purify the burning of the hirschfeld clinic then of the patients what color was the smoke at auschwitz

watergate

not unreal but simulacrum that is to say never exchanged for the real but exchanged for itself in an uninterrupted circuit without reference or circumference

the same tabloids who stage a countdown to a page three girl’s eighteenth birthday so they can legally sexualise objectify fetishise her which in itself is obvs the sexualisation fetishisation objectification of a child the same tabloids who literally hound a trans schoolteacher to death the same tabloids who call us groomers

as disneyland must exist to disguise the fact that america is disneyland so the groomer myth serves to disguise the fact that our society is built on child abuse

a safe space for transphobes is not a safe space for trans people

i wish yu were honest i wish yu wld just bare ur teeth so i cld throw the first brick i know where i stand w the haters and it’s honestly less scary to know what to be afraid of than this epistemic exclusion

in a currency of love i’d have a mint in my heart but in this currency of lies i’m a slave lower than a slave i’m the unhoused the sex worker the undocumented migrant nomadic never quite in the room i dreamed last night i was back in sex work homeless borrowing a friend’s flat while she was at work to see clients and wash and grateful for the allyship i woke and checked my bank balance to work out how far off this eventuality might yet be i don’t sleep it beats the nightmares the rape relived endlessly the mouthful of stomach acid an apartment on uranus an air i can breathe i can’t luv yu bc we don’t speak the same language we don’t share a currency we don’t inhale or exhale the same air if a language is the fabric of a society of a community of language speakers then all i can be to yu is a burr that sticks to ur skirts and that yu shake off in passing a snag in ur tights a stain the homeless person next to yu on the subway a miasma a bad smell an aftertaste a fingerprint in the tip jar a ghost an image a brooch entangled in the weft of ur cardigan not like these soft embroidered strawberries only metal what a bore