Good, Lincolnshire Glossary: Miscellaneous items

{93}

Local Pronounciation of Place Names in East Lincolnshire.

{94}

Tautological Expressions in daily use in the Eastern part of the Lindsey Division of Lincolnshire.

Christmas will soon be here if it only keeps fine weather.

I should have been older if that I had not been ill for two years.

So you’ve come first at last, you used to be behind before.

I suspect you get up early of late.

’Tis well you call in season, you would not have found me within without.

{95}

Superstitious Notions still very generally held in parts of East Lincolnshire.

Monday for health,
Tuesday for wealth,
Wednesday best day of all,
Thursday for losses,
Friday for crosses,
Saturday no luck at all.

The bacon made from a pig, killed at the wane of the moon, will waste in the process of boiling.

If anything be accidentally broken, it is believed that at least three other similar accidents will occur during the day.

A tendency to thieving will most certainly follow if you cut a child’s nails before it is twelve months old.

If a cock crow early in the morning near to the door of the house, a stranger may be expected during the day.

If a “smoke rag” be seen hanging from the bar of a grate, a stranger may be expected.

Good luck is believed to follow if money be turned in the pocket, upon seeing the first lamb of the season.

A horse-shoe suspended somewhere upon the premises is held to bring good luck.

Walking into church right-foot first brings good fortune.

If a lady drops a knife a gentleman is likely to call on her.

Seeing a white cat is regarded as a good omen.

A spider on the coat or dress means riches.

Seeing a new moon over the right shoulder means good luck.

Falling upstairs is a certain sign of a wedding.

{96}

Signs of Ill Luck.

Thirteen persons sitting down at one table to dine.

To allow knives to be crossed upon the dinner table.

To give a knife to anyone without its being acknowledged by the payment of a coin.

To take money out of the house on New Year’s morning before first bringing money in.

To spill salt upon the table-cloth.

To return to the house after having set out on a journey; the evil spell, however, may be broken by sitting down in the house, before setting out a second time.

To see the New Moon first through glass,—say a window.

Magpies seen together as follows, viz.—

One for sorrow,
Two for mirth;
Three for wedding,
Four for death.

To give a knife to another severs friendship; so does giving another a pair of white shoes or slippers.

Two persons looking into a mirror simultaneously.

Placing an umbrella on the bed brings sorrow.

Walking under a ladder.

Friday is a bad day for commencing new work.

Moving into a house on a Saturday means a short stay.

Helping another to salt at table.

Bird flying into a room means sickness.

A black cat looking in at a window is followed by misfortune.

{97}

Signs of Death.

If bees in a hive be not told of a death, another is sure to happen in the same house shortly.

If a fire remains alight all through the night.

If a dog howls at midnight.

If fowls make a noise at midnight.

If a pigeon settles upon the window-sill of a house.

If a tallow candle, while alight, flickers, and forms upon the side a mass called a “winding-sheet.”

If an insect, called the “death-watch,” is heard ticking during the night.

If two spoons are placed together in a cup.

If a white dove flies into a room.

{98}

Inscriptions on Clocks.

The following inscription appears upon the pendulum of a clock, the property of Jabez Good:

“On this moment depends Eternity.”

The above inscription has in all seriousness been read as follows:

“On this monument depends Electricity.”

A mechanical clock in the same possession has appended to it a card with the inscription:

“Gog and Magog.”

This inscription has been read as follows:

“Dog and Magpie.”

“They say,”

What they say,

Let them say!

Going and gone are now both one,
For gone is going and going is gone.

“A little nonsense now and then,
Is relished by the wisest men.”

“If a man’s mind is pure his wit will never be tainted.”

{99}

Money.

“Hard to get, easy to spend;
Awkward to borrow, unsafe to lend.”

Often in each, and every way, it is a trouble.

They who have money,
Are troubled about it;
And they who have none
Are troubled without it.

He that is down, need fear no fall.
He that is low, no pride.

When a rich man speaketh, every man holdeth his tongue.
If a poor man speak, they say, “What fellow is this.”

Its not the man that knows the most
That’s got the most to say;
Its not the man that’s got the most
That gives the most away.

There is one thing you can always depend upon, and that is that you can never depend upon others.

“It is not always he who looks the wisest knows the most; but most people are not aware of this, so it will pay you to look as wise as you can.”

Station Master: “ You cannot go by this train it is crowded out.”
Angry Traveller: “I must have a seat if I stand all the way.”

{100}

Sound Reason.

If you from slips
Would guard your lips,
  Of these five things beware,
Of whom you speak,
To whom you speak,
  And what, and when, and where.

Men are Four (so say the Arabs).

1.—He who knows not, and knows not that he knows not.

(He is a fool; shun him.)

2.—He who knows not, and knows that he knows not.

(He is simple; teach him.)

3.—He who knows and knows not that he knows.

(He is asleep; wake him.)

4.—He who knows and knows that he knows.

(He is wise; follow him.)

In the word STARCH thirty-five dictionary words are to be found, viz.—
Art, arch, at, ah! act, as, ash, arc, a,
Crash, char, chat, cat, cash, chart, cart, car, cast,
Has, hat, hast, ha, hart,
Rash, rach, rat, rath, ratch,
Star, scar, scath, sat,
Trash, thar, tar.

By J. GOOD.

{101}

Copy of Strange Advertisements.

1.—Wanted a room for two gentlemen 30 feet long and 20 feet broad.

2.—For sale, a piano, the property of a Musician with carved legs.

3.—Wanted for the Church organ, an Organist, and a boy to blow the same.

4.—Wanted a Coachman, not less than 6 feet nor over 40.

S.—Wanted a man to attend to horses of a Christian character.

6.—Wanted a man to look after a cow, who has a good voice and able to sing in the choir.

Five outs and One in.

Out of money, and out of clothes,
Out at the heels, and out at the toes;
Out of credit, and in debt.

Word Squares.

{101}

BURGH

Is an exceptionally healthy Market-town as will be understood by the following facts. For several years Jabez Good regularly shaved six persons whose ages are appended:—

Making a total of 535 years, or an average of 89 years each.

The following information from the Church Register was given by the Vicar of Burgh, (the Rev R. S. Sanderson,) to Jabez Good in 1872, and serves to further prove the healthiness of Burgh:—

During the last ten years no less than thirty persons, who were above eighty years of age, have been buried in Burgh Churchyard.

These aged individuals lived in the aggregate 2673 years, and if they had followed one after the other, the first would have been born 800 years before Christ.

{103}

Mr. Thomas Green, Coxwain of the Skegness Lifeboat, entered the shop of Jabez Good, Burgh, in order to be shaved, when he made use of the following unique couplet:—

 “Now Mr. Good,
 Can you shave me without showing blood ?”

Mr. Green was waited upon quickly, and after having paid his fee of one penny for the attention,

Jabez Good answered in the same manner as his customer:

  “Now Mr. Green,   I have shaved you clean
  And there’s no blood to be seen.”

ACROSTIC.

{104}

BUSINESS CARD.

{105}

Agricultural Customs in 1800.

Farmer at the plough,
Wife milking cow,
Daughter spinning yarn,
Son thrashing in the barn,
All happy to a charm.

Agricultural Customs in 1900.

Father gone to see the show,
Daughter at the pian-o,
Madame gaily dressed in satin,
All the boys learning Latin,
With a mortgage on the farm.

Her Majesty Queen Victoria ascended the throne on June 20th, 1837, and was crowned on June 28th, 1838.

She reigned 64 years, and died after an illness of seven days, on January 22nd, 1901.

She was succeeded by His Royal Highness Albert Edward, Prince of Wales, who was declared King as Edward VII. The Coronation was fixed for June 26th, 1902, but owing to the severe illness of the King, it was postponed until August 9th, when he was duly crowned at Westminster.

By the Queen.—A proclamation declares and commands that every Gold Sovereign shall weigh not less than five penny weights, two grains and a half.

A half Sovereign not less than two penny weights, thirteen grains and one eighth.

{106}

All the words in small capitals are the surnames of persons who are now living in the parish of Burgh, arranged by Jabez Good, Burgh, Lincolnshire.

In memory of the Abbott and Dean of Chester, the Council of Burgh have been instructed by a Young Clarke, in the name of Paul Adams from Grantham, not to Waite, but inform the White Smiths at once to construct a Good and Noble looking Steel Cross to be erected in a Field due East and West, at the Townsend, to be surrounded by Lowe Gray Walls, and to clear Hoff in a Sivil way all such nuisances that may obstruct such as Brooks, Pitts, Pooles, Moores, Wells, Reeds, Sands, &c. Now Issitt Wright Hall this Storr to be Dunn, and in such Short notice, and to be signed with only a Pinney Stamp.

Copy of an envelope which passed through the Burgh Post Office, addressed as below:—

Take this to JABEZ whose surname is GOOD.
A collector of bric-a-brac, a carver in wood,
A numismatic cute, in Taxidermy famed,
An artist he really is properly named,
A lover of virtu, a young Oologist,
And a cutter of hair completeth the list,
At the MUSEUM, BURGH, this paragon dwells,
In sight of the Church, and within sound of the Bells.

{107}

The following Acrostic was written by one who therein has paid great compliments to the powers of the one to whom it is addressed:—

Joyous and free, still on life’s path he stays,
Alike in wisdom as in skill renown’d ;
Bending before no human form for praise.
Enriched with gifts which nature in him found,
Zeal marks him for her own!
Go on great genius till thy life is o’er,
Onward in might, and swim against the stream,
O’er boundless wave and tempest tossing shore,
Down to that Haven, where rewards shall teem.

SONNET written by the Rev. Canon Rawnsley upon the hand-carved oak Eagle Lectern for Burgh Church, whilst in process of being carved by Jabez Good, Burgh, Lincolnshire, 1874.—

Thou wast not reared in some great master’s hall,
From out no foreign carver’s hand hast flown;
An humble artist in this simple town
Did fashion thee to perch upon this ball,
And not a burgher, but did daily call,
To watch thee from the oak so slowly grown.
Each talon’s curve, each feather-shaft was known,
Thy solemn purpose was so clear to all,
Thy fame, the scholar quoted, as he stood;
Pleased, but in awe, the children touched the wood,
The sportsman praised, or blamed a feather wrong,
The market yeoman gazed in wonder long,
Thy pose, for all their praises, never stirred,
Thy frown was fixed, thou mute imperious Bird.

{108}

Seven Ages of the World.

The SEVEN Ages of the World according to the usual computation, the account of time from the Creation of the World, is divided into SEVEN Ages or Periods, viz.—

The FIRST Age of the World, from the Creation to the Flood, includes the space of 1656 years.

The SECOND Age of the World, from the Flood to the Call of Abraham, was 426 years long.

The THIRD Age of the World, from the Call of Abraham to the Israelites’ departure out of Egypt, took 430 years.

The FOURTH Age of the World, from the Israelites’ departure out of Egypt to the Building of Solomon’s Temple, lasted 480 years.

The FIFTH Age of the World, from the Building of the Temple to the Israelites being carried Captives into Babylon, occupied 400 years.

The SIXTH Age of the World, from the carrying the Israelites into Babylon to the Birth of Christ, was 508 years in length.

The SEVENTH Age of the World, from the Birth of Christ, already includes 1906 years.

{109}

The Seven Wonders of the World.

The Seven Wonders of the World, as they are popularly called, were

Instead of the latter some substitute the Royal Palace of Cyrus, built by Menon, the stones of which were cemented with gold.

World Statistics.

There are 3064 languages in the world, and its inhabitants consist of more than 1000 sects.

The number of men is about equal to the number of women.

The average length of life is about 33 years; of 1000 persons only one reaches 100 years of age; of every 100 only six reach the 65 years; and not more than one in 600 lives to be 80.

DATISI, in logic, a mode of syllogisms in the third figure, wherein the major is an universal affirmative, and the minor and conclusion are particular affirmative propositions. E. gr.

{110}

The Lord’s Prayer.

It was rendered thus in the time of Henry VI.—

“Our Fadir that art in hevenes,
“halewid be thi
“name, thi kingdom come to thee, be thi
“will don in eerthe, as in hevene.”

In the year 1537, the Lord’s Prayer was printed according to the following version:—

“O oure Father which arte in heven, halowed be thy name: let thy kingdom come, thy will be fulfilled as well in erth as it is in heaven,” etc.

Where the reader will observe the diction almost brought to the present standard, the variations being principally in the orthography.

When Darius offered Alexander ten thousand talents to divide Asia equally with him, he answered, “The earth cannot bear two Suns, nor Asia two Kings.”

Parmenio, a friend of Alexander’s, hearing the great offer Darius had made, said;

“Were I Alexander, I would accept them.”

“So would I,” replied Alexander, “were I Parmenio.”

{111}

Wit and Wisdom.

Knowledge conquered by labour becomes a possession, a property our own.

—:o:—

Excellence is never granted to man, but as the reward of labour.

—:o:—

If you have Genius industry will prove it.

—:o:—

All progress of the best kind is slow.

—:o:—

Time is life’s best counsellor.

—:o:—

No man was ever discontented with the world if he did his duty in it.

—:o:—

It will generally be found that men who are constantly lamenting their ill-luck are only reaping the consequences of their own neglect, mismanagement, improvidence or want of application..

—:o:—

Fame is as hard to be kept as it was at first to be got.

—:o:—

Hence an eminent Judge when asked what contributed most to success at the Bar, replied : “ Some succeed by great talent, some by high connection, some by miracle. But the majority by commencing without a shilling.”

—:o:—

He that talks all he knows will talk more than he knows.

{112}

Most men fear a bad name, yet few take care to shun those deeds which cause it.

—:o:—

He that is a right judge of what he needs and what he needs not, is a wise man.

—:o:—

Every human being has duties to be performed, and therefore has need of cultivating the capacity for doing them. Attention, Application, Accuracy, Method, Punctuality and Dispatch, are the principal qualities required for the efficient conduct of business of any sort.

—:o:—

It is a common saying at Manchester that the men who are most successful in business there, are those who begin the world in their shirt sleeves; whereas those who begin with fortunes generally lose them.

—:o:—

Genius without work is certainly a dumb oracle.

—:o:—

We always hate those whom we have wronged, and fear those whom we don’t understand.

Spelling Bee.

I witnessed with unparalled ecstacy the embarrassment of a harassed cobbler gauging the symmetry of a peeled pear.

John Wright, wheel-wright, could neither read right nor write right, nor read the rites of the Church right.

{113}

The History of the Boots of Oliver Cromwell exhibited in the Burgh Museum, 1887.

When Oliver Cromwell encamped at Perth, he received intelligence of the death by self-destruction of John Monday, one of his zealous and active partizans, who lived at a village which now bears his name, a little to the north of Dam-head. Out of respect to the memory of honest John, the Lord Protector issued a proclamation through Perth, offering a reward to the person who should compose the best lines on the death of Monday.

Among the number of competitors for the reward was a son of St. Crispin, who composed the following lines verbatim:—

“Blessed be the Sabbath day,
Cursed be all worldly pelf;
Tuesday shall begin the week,
Since Monday hanged himself.”

Cromwell was so pleased with the wit of the honest Souter, that the reward was not only awarded him, but he also ordered that Monday should be kept as a holiday through Scotland.

This is the origin of St. Monday according to the Scottish tradition.

The history of the Boots in connection with the above is as follows:—

After the reward just quoted had been awarded, these Boots of Cromwell’s were sent to the Souter who composed these lines to be repaired, but owing to the sudden removal of the Parliamentary Army from Perth, Cromwell did not receive them back again, and the Souter, well pleased to possess any of the property of the Parliamentary General, did not put himself to any trouble to return them.

{114} They therefore remained in the family as an heirloom, until the year 1746, when a Mr. John Owen, of Cambridge, travelling through Scotland, stopped one night at the village inn of Redgorton.

The conversation turned upon the various struggles of the kingdom during the reigns of Charles I and II, and the talents of the Generals of the armies engaged therein, the name of Cromwell being most prominent, when a descendant of the old Souter’s mentioned having in his possession a pair of the General’s boots.

Being well plied with “mountain dew,” he disposed of the Boots to Mr. Owen for Twenty Pounds, (Scots), by him they were brought to Cambridge, and, at his death, were given by his Will to the late Samuel Coates, of Alford, and at his death his widow gave them to the late William Searle, of the same place, at whose Sale by Auction, in 1838, they were purchased by Mr. Cash, of Spilsby, who sold them to Miss Thimbleby, of the same place, and she presented them to the proprietor of the Burgh Museum—Jabez Good.